Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Of Why I Believe In Marriage

There is no perfect marriage, not unless your name is Cinderella or Snow White and living in a fairy tale, so to speak, there's bound to be trouble in Paradise!

Being married for a decade, I feel like it was just yesterday, thankfully. But if marriage was hell, I know it would definitely feel like a life sentence!

But I will be the first to admit, it was no walk in the park!

In our case, the first years were the absolute worst!!!

We fight over very trivial things everyday!

And yeah, he is the more loud-mouthed, hysterical, humiliating type.

He would drag me like I'm a sack of rice.

So I just find myself in tears inside the bus, or in our room.

Sometimes I feel that he does not even love me, that I was only there for the sake of him having his property- a so-called wife.

That he even sides with other people rather than his wife.

You know the song, sometimes when we touch? Yeah it's true. At times I'd like to break him and drive him to his knees (after an ugly fight)!

And it did not really help (or did it) that some of his (and my) family members did not approve of each other for us! Our difference was just so significant that there was almost nothing in particular. Where he came from and where I came from, it was worlds apart.

Well, except our inner values, I think. We both do not smoke or gamble and never tried drugs, do not want no tattoo, we hate to exercise but love food trips and travels, we're Sunday church-goers, we'd rather stay home than party all night, we're basically old farts, him and me.

But the big fights was pretty much BEFORE, now we have adjusted a bit to each other's moods and tics. But yeah, we still do argue a lot, but maybe we have more tolerance and patience for each other.

And between you and me, sometimes, I still wish he was dead, lol (but that is when there is a big fight, ok, it's not all the time)! Still most of the time, I can look at him adoringly and think, this guy is the best thing that ever happened to my life!

That is why pray for guidance when choosing your life's partner and then do not settle for anything less, make him put a ring on it! Get into a union in front of GOD, with HIM as the center of your lives!!!

A marriage is not just a piece of paper, a means for tremendous stress in preparation and lavish expenses, but, moreover, it is also about being granted certain RIGHTS and privileges, PROTECTION, that only lawfully wedded couples enjoy!

(Some couples do not get hitched because it is expensive. Hey, there is such a thing as FREE MASS WEDDING! Weddings are free- February 14 Valentine's by the city mayor, or Pag-ibig fund, December wedding sponsored by church group Couples for Christ and many others, Google it, ask around!!!)

Marriage is not always bliss.

There are many responsibilities.

And there are big fights which would make you regret having met that piece of sh*t.

When you are married and go into a big time fight, you cannot just turn your back on each other. You'd think about all the effort you put in the relationship. You'd worry about what your family, relatives, neighbors, former classmates, officemates, etc. will think. There is so much to consider. Especially here in Pinas, where there are so many chismosa.

What I realized in our marriage is that after a fight, when our heads are cooler, we find that we are both being irrational, and that there is a pride coming into the picture. The reason for the fight is indeed very insignificant!!!

Nothing happens when you are both fuming.

So when you have both calmed down and the anger has vanished, try to think of the good times, of why you settled in with that moron, I mean, your better half, in the first place.

Yes, there are issues of infidelity (thankfully we are not in that chapter yet!!!) and no, the saying men are born polygamous ain't helping at all. But some couples stick it out for their children! So if you can still forgive him, when he returns to you, well, do it!

The only time I will draw the line is when he abuses or mauls you. Yeah, one time a girl related to me that her loser husband does not work yet hits her. That sucks big time. Totally unacceptable and stepping on your rights as another human.

So if this happens to you, march to the women's desk and file a case. It'll be pretty satisfying to see the bastard behind bars!

Ending you with this, from the Bible:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

Well, I'm no relationship expert, this is just my two cents. If you're so tired of your marriage, try to go to a marriage encounter weekend coz it might do wonders. Honor your commitment. Stick it up for a little bit longer, he might really be your Prince Charming after all. :)

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